Warning Signs of an Obsessive Boyfriend

Written by cynthia measom
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Warning Signs of an Obsessive Boyfriend
A boyfriend who constantly demands your attention is obsessive. (Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images)

Obsessive behaviour from a boyfriend signals that you shouldn't be in the relationship. Sometimes, the signs that pinpoint this type of behaviour prove difficult to identify, especially if you have strong feelings for your significant other. Yet, it's important to be aware of obsessiveness, because these powerful and misguided emotions can result in damage to the emotional, and possibly physical, health of both people in the relationship.

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Domination of Your Time

If a boyfriend is constantly trying to spend all of his time with you, with little or no regard for other people or responsibilities he has in his life, he may be obsessive. It's natural when you are smote with someone to want to spend time with him, but you also should maintain the other relationships and responsibilities you have in your life. A boyfriend who seems consistently focused only on you and the relationship, and expects you to do the same, is exhibiting troubling behaviour. For instance, if he repeatedly expects you to turn away your friends to spend time with him, be aware that there is a problem. He is trying to make you emotionally dependent on him so that he can control you.

Professions of Need

It's normal for people to feel love toward one another, but if your boyfriend makes certain comments, he's probably obsessing about the relationship. If he repeatedly tells you things such as "I'd die without you in my life -- you're everything to me." or " I need to be with you all of the time -- I don't ever want to be without you," you should think twice about the direction in which your relationship is heading. It's not healthy for him to think he needs you in his life to keep on living. There's nothing wrong with him saying that he loves you and enjoys spending time with you, but he shouldn't let those feelings overpower him to the point that he thinks he can't go on without you.

Constant Contact

When a boyfriend insists that he have constant contact with you at all times so that he can reach you whenever he feels the need, it's time to worry. If he gives you a cell phone so he can call you anytime or he constantly calls or texts you asking you where you are, what you are doing and who you are with, you should be concerned. If he can't reach you immediately and he makes a pattern of calling your friends or relatives to ask where you are, he's showing obsessive behaviour. You have a life of your own and shouldn't have to report to a boyfriend continuously throughout the day.

Unwanted Demands

When a boyfriend seems to take an unusual interest in how you style your hair, your make-up and the clothes you wear, it can be a cause for concern. If he starts telling you what to wear, to stop wearing or change your make-up, or how to style or cut your hair, remember that you are an individual and you should make your own decisions about your physical appearance. If he's trying to control the way you look physically, it may be because he doesn't want you to draw the attention of other males. Because he is obsessed with you, he may try to control you in this manner.

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It's important to gauge your feelings toward your boyfriend and know when you feel that something isn't quite right with his behaviour. If you begin feeling uncomfortable or unhappy in your relationship, don't be afraid to end it. If you're scared that he may do something drastic -- such as attempt suicide or hurt you -- if you end your relationship, go to your parents or a counsellor for help and advice. The important thing is not to stay with a boyfriend who exhibits obsessive behaviour because it can result in emotional and even physical harm to you.

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