Ways to Know You Are Dating a Player

Written by kristen marquette
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Ways to Know You Are Dating a Player
Players introduce you as their friend, not their girlfriend. (couples man woman women men young relationship image by david hughes from Fotolia.com)

A player seduces or manipulates women by pretending to genuinely care for them when they only want sex from them. These men can be tricky to spot since they come across as sweet and sincere. To avoid getting taken in by a player, or if you fear you are already dating one, look for the warning signs.

Texting Frequently

If a guy you have just started dating texts you throughout the day, he may be a player. His text will ask how your day is going, let you know that he was thinking about you or missing you or that just wants to say goodnight. The player tries to build quick and false intimacy through these kinds of sweet texts so he can get you into bed. On the other hand, if you have been dating a guy for two or three months and you know each other well, these types of texts are acceptable.

Last Minute Plans

Players call or text you to make last minute plans. Their reasoning usually seems innocent -- he will have to work this weekend so he wants to get dinner tonight or he feels spontaneous and wants to have a drink with you right now. If you were a priority in his life, he would make time for you in his busy schedule. Do not change your plans to meet up with him. If you do take him up on his last minute plans, do not go home with him unless you too are only interested in causal sex.

Weeknight Dates

If he invites you out for a date on a weeknight, that does not mean he is a player. However, if your first three dates all took place on Thursday night, there is a good chance he is a player. You have filled a slot in his schedule and become his "Thursday girl." Do not think he doesn't have a different girl for every day of the week. Try scheduling a date on a weekend and see how he responds.


A player starts pressuring you for sex from date one. If his advances make you feel uncomfortable, tell him you want to wait until you know each other better. He may say he is cool with that, but then adds he is just so incredibly attracted to you or you turn him on like nobody else. That is sexual pressure. When it comes to sex, the player also refuses to get an STD test before becoming intimate with you, claiming that he is not sleeping with anyone else. If he was not sleeping with anyone else, he would not be worried about that test revealing an STD.

Disappearing Act

Players text you constantly then suddenly stop. They also stop calling, answering your calls or returning your texts, and then pop back up in your life after a few days without an explanation, acting as if nothing is out of ordinary. Be especially careful of men who do this on the weekends. During his disappearing act, he has been constantly texting, wooing and dating other women.

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