How to deal with a grouchy wife

Written by jennifer hench
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How to deal with a grouchy wife
Knowing what triggers your wife's grouchiness will help you understand her moods. (Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images)

Being, and staying married, involves having to deal with one another through good times and bad. Marriage becomes challenging when one spouse is not happy, or appears to be unhappy, more often than not. If you are living with, married to and love your wife who is grouchy, knowing how to best deal with her mood swings will help you better understand how to maintain your own emotional sanity during those grouchy periods, especially when such grouchiness impacts your daily life.

Skill level:
Moderately Challenging

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Things you need

  • Journal
  • Fresh-cut flowers
  • Box of chocolate
  • Balloons

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  1. 1

    Keep a journal to chart your wife's moods. You can keep notes in the journal to explain current circumstances or events which may have prompted a bout of grouchiness. Write down in your own mood journal how you feel when your wife is grouchy. Read through the journal every four to six weeks to identify any patterns. Take note of instances in which you did or did not do something, which was then followed by your wife's being grouchy. For example, if you notice you wife is happy for days and then begins to act grouchy the morning after you came home late from work, you will know that incident prompted the grouchy mood.

  2. 2

    Ask your wife directly what is bothering her. Do not assume you know what is wrong; nor should you assume that your wife would tell you unprompted. You must ask you wife, and do so in a manner which shows true care and concern. When your wife opens up to you and begins to explain why she is grouchy, do not interrupt, do other tasks or walk away until she is finished talking to you.

  3. 3

    Suggest some remedies to any issues brought up by your wife. For example, if your wife explains that she is grouchy because she never spends time with you, suggest ways the two of you can spend more time together doing things you both enjoy. If your wife is grouchy because she is overworked at home, offer to help with household chores or by taking care of your children to give your wife a break.

  4. 4

    Buy your wife flowers, candy or other token gifts randomly. Do not make a big production out of doing so, but know that little gestures will help a wife get over grouchiness quicker than if you simply ignore her. You should also make every effort to show your wife signs of affection, such as brushing her cheek with your hand, kissing her neck or just simply walking up and hugging her. Learn to use nonverbal communication, as trying to talk when your wife is grouchy will not always work.

  5. 5

    Work towards preventing grouchiness by alleviating the triggers for your wife, as noted in your journal and as discussed between the two of you. Know that you will not be able to make every potential problem go away, but having a better line of communication between the two of you can help make your wife feel more like the two of you are a team. Preventing grouchiness is the best way to deal with a wife who tends to get grouchy. Consider attending marriage counselling jointly if some of the issues surrounding your wife's grouchiness are a direct result of the marriage. If you bring up the subject of counselling, make sure you are committed and willing to attend before making the suggestion.

Tips and warnings

  • Know that a grouchy wife may be irritated or upset due to other things that do not have anything to do with you. Because of this, the ability to openly and honestly communicate with your spouse is crucial to marital harmony and success.
  • Watch for signs of depression or other mental health conditions This is important if your wife is grouchy more often than not or exhibits signs of depression, anxiety or panic.

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