How to Confront Someone Who Has Physically & Mentally Abused You

Written by hans fredrick
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How to Confront Someone Who Has Physically & Mentally Abused You
Confronting an abuser should only be done in a safe environment. (Hemera Technologies/ Images)

Abuse is something that takes some people a lifetime to recover from. In some situations it becomes necessary to confront a person that has abused you. For instance, if abuse is brought before the courts there may be situations when you are required to confront an abuser. In other cases, the needs of family members may require that you put yourself in a situation to meet a past abuser. Knowing how to deal with these situations safely and in a way that is healthy is critical for abuse victims.

Skill level:


  1. 1

    Decide that you need to confront your abuser for your own health, or for your own reasons. Do not do it because you expect to get a certain reaction out of the abuser. No amount of planning or hoping can predict the behaviour of another person.

  2. 2

    Consult with a social worker or mental health professional before you confront an abuser. Make sure that doing so is something that will improve your health and well being.

  3. 3

    Ensure the environment you are in will be safe for a confrontation. Never confront a physical abuser without being in a safe environment such as a courtroom or therapist's office, or you may be exposing yourself to serious danger. A safe place also provides you with support in the case of a confrontation with an emotional abuser.

  4. 4

    Set a specific time and place to confront your abuser. Avoid a spontaneous or heated confrontation. Instead, plan out the time when you will sit and confront your abuser.

  5. 5

    Write down the questions you need to ask or the things that you need to say to your abuser. Have it all down on paper, as thinking of things in the moment can be more difficult than you might expect.

Tips and warnings

  • Be prepared to not get exactly what you expected out of your confrontation. Often the results are not what you hoped for.

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