Ending a relationship is a difficult thing to do, even if you are emotionally ready to move on. However, you may feel as though it is especially challenging to leave a relationship with someone who is possessive. A possessive person could try to convince you to stay, or react in ways that you are not expecting. Do not let this apprehension stop you from ending the relationship, because it is still possible to find an effective way to end things on a nice note.
- Skill level:
- Moderately Challenging
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Plan a time for the two of you to be alone together, face to face. It is not proper etiquette to end a relationship over e-mail, text message or the telephone. If you choose to do the breaking up in a non-face-to-face format with someone who is possessive, you may not be successful in ending the relationship nicely.
Tell the other person calmly and clearly that you want things to be over for the reasons you wish to list. With someone who is possessive, and to end things gracefully, you should take the responsibility for the break-up by explaining that your feelings have changed. Avoid putting the blame on the other person, unless you want to start a fight.
Allow the other person to ask questions. A possessive person may inquire about if you are leaving the relationship to be with someone else. Try to answer the questions in a way that will not hurt the person's feelings. If you do happen to be ending the relationship in order to be with someone else, it is your choice to decide whether or not to not share this information with the possessive person.
Avoid telling the other person statements such as, "maybe we just need time apart" or "maybe one day we'll be back together again." Even though these words may help calm the other person down, this leaves room for negotiation and manipulation, which can create further difficulties down the road.
Apologise for how things turned out. If you want to end things nicely, express your regret about hurting the other person because of how your feelings have changed.
Suggest remaining friends only if this is a genuine desire that you have. If you do not want to be remain friends with the possessive person, or you are sure it wouldn't work, then don't bring this up as an option. Again, the possessive person might use friendship as a means for trying to get back into a relationship with you.
Tips and warnings
- Do not conclude your break-up by having intimate relations one last time. Leave after the discussion has ended.
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