How to Tell When Your Boyfriend Is Backing Away From You

Updated April 17, 2017

Relationships can be tricky, and one of the hardest parts is making sure both you and your boyfriend are on the same page interest-wise. While you may be head-over-heels for your guy, he could be slowly losing interest in you. Just as there are telltale signs when a man is falling for you, there are warnings when he is backing off, too.

Keep track of how often he calls you and at what times during the day. If you notice that your boyfriend is calling you much less often, specifically at times when he usually calls, this could be a warning sign that he is losing interest. The same goes for how often he texts and e-mails you. If he misses one or two days of calling you during his lunch hour because he is extra busy at work one week, though, this isn't necessarily cause for alarm.

Pay attention to the times when your boyfriend doesn't offer excuses, explanations or apologies for his behaviour. For example, if you have tried to get in touch with your boyfriend and you don't hear back from him for a few days, he should explain why he hasn't been able to return your messages. If he doesn't seem to offer any explanation, it could be that he is not too concerned about your feelings.

Ask him to spend time together. If your boyfriend is backing away from you, he will start to avoid spending time with you. He may give you a string of excuses or seem more interested in spending all of his free time with his friends. If you are able to make plans together, your boyfriend may cancel plans at the last minute. All of these are red flags that your man may be losing interest.

Try to be affectionate with your boyfriend. If he seems to not want to hold or kiss you, he may be backing away from you. If he acts annoyed when you try to show him affection or no longer seems interested in sex, these are also signs that you could be losing your boyfriend.

Think over the recent arguments you have had with your boyfriend. If you are fighting more often or creating large problems from small ones, this could be a bad sign.


Don't ignore behaviour that you think is different than the norm. While one or two of these signs doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is going down the tubes, you shouldn't ignore your gut instinct if you truly think your man is backing away from you.

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About the Author

As a full-time writer in New York's Hudson Valley, Lindsay Pietroluongo's nightlife column and photos have appeared regularly in the "Poughkeepsie Journal" since 2007. Additional publications include "Chronogram," the "New Paltz Sojourn," "About Town" newspaper and "Outsider" magazine. Pietroluongo graduated from Marist College with a B.A. in English.