How to tell if a girl is interested in you or just being nice?

Updated April 17, 2017

Confused by the way that girl keeps staring at you? When you want a relationship with someone, it can be difficult to differentiate between flirtation and friendliness. There are a few methods you can try to determine if she is just being nice or interested in something more.

Ask your friends what they notice. Try to find mutual friends who know both of you, and get their opinion. If you are close to her friends, you may even get the inside scoop on her secret feelings for you.

Observe how she treats other men. Some girls have an outgoing personality that could be wrongly perceived as flirtatious. If she is consistently as friendly with other men as she is with you, you might have to settle for friendship.

Don't mistake sympathy for love. Have you been crying on her shoulder? Comforting a friend in trouble is a natural response in most women, and should not necessarily be taken for affection.

Consider the context to determine her motives. What is it that she wants from you? If she is a co-worker, her flirtations may simply be an effort to make the workplace interesting. If she's a classmate, she may want your notes. Try to eliminate alternative motives for her attention. If she still seems to want to spend time with you, you should feel free to return to the flirtation.

Talk to her. This may take some courage, but most girls will appreciate your honesty. An open conversation defining your feelings for each other can be liberating, no matter what those feelings are.

Things You'll Need

  • Courage
  • Confidence
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About the Author

Joelle Dedalus began writing professionally for websites such as in 2009. She received her B.A. in English education at Iowa State University and is currently a M.F.A. candidate in creative nonfiction writing at Emerson College in Boston, where she is developing a manuscript on literary travel. Her areas of expertise include travel and literature, the outdoors and the arts.