The dream of every college freshman used to be the day when he would have his very own paddle, with which he would perpetuate the painful, humiliating initiation rituals that he went through. Thankfully these days have passed in most institutions, but the paddle lives on--a symbol of oppression and a sometimes-useful tool for discipline. The construction of a spanking paddle is simple.
- Skill level:
- Moderately Easy
Things you need
- Jigsaw with woodcutting blade
- 1x4 or 1x6 hardwood board stock
- Pen or pencil
- Belt sander
Select your stock. The ideal paddle should have no knots or weak spots.
Trace your design onto the stock. Use a pencil or pen to outline the body of the paddle and the handle. Longer paddles require more handle.
Cut out the paddle blank with the jigsaw. Leave a small amount of stock all the way around.
Use the sander to round off corners and remove rough patches.
Tips and warnings
- Holes drilled into the body of the paddle allow air to pass through, removing the natural cushioning effect that air would normally have. This does however reduce durability; use your own judgment as to whether it's worth it or not.
- It is illegal in many areas to hit people with paddles like this. You can be turned in for assault if you hit someone without their consent.
- Always wear eye and hand protection when working with power tools.