How do I talk to my girlfriend if she is angry?

Written by lanh ma
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How do I talk to my girlfriend if she is angry?
Do not allow a fight to escalate to where you have both lost your tempers. (Jupiterimages, Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images)

If your girlfriend is angry with you, it can make communication difficult. She may make herself unavailable, become sarcastic or distant or even refuse to admit that anything is wrong. Anger is something that can fester, turning a small issue into something much larger and more difficult to deal with. If you need to talk with an angry girlfriend, take steps to ensure that your message gets across.

Skill level:


  1. 1

    Give your girlfriend time to cool off. If she has become angry over something that just happened, give her time to cool down and to sort out how she feels. You may wish to wait a day or so before contacting her again.

  2. 2

    Contact your girlfriend and request a face-to-face meeting. If she turns you down, emphasise that you wish to talk with her and smooth things over and that she is important to you. If it makes her more comfortable, offer to meet with her at a place of her own choosing.

  3. 3

    Talk about what has made her angry. If what has made her angry was something that you did, explain it to her. If you were at fault, apologise and tell her how you are planning to fix the behaviour. Do not offer an apology unless it is sincere, however.

  4. 4

    Tell her that you care about her and that you value your relationship.

  5. 5

    Talk with your girlfriend about how the two of you can work to prevent further problems in the future. This prevents further conflict down the line.

Tips and warnings

  • Re-establish physical contact as soon as possible. Touching and hugging are both ways to feel closer to each other after a fight.
  • Do not tell your girlfriend that she is being unreasonable or oversensitive. These are belittling comments, and they only serve to make her angrier.

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