You may be feeling that lately your partner walks all over you in the relationships, or doesn't value your opinion on certain matters. When you start to sense that you are being discounted by your partner it's time to take a stand and hold your ground. Being passive is not going to get you what you want out of the relationship, and in the end you might get to a point where you start feeling resentful towards the other person. To keep a relationship strong and healthy, learn how to stand your ground.
- Skill level:
- Moderately Challenging
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Speak up in a calm, but stern, manner. Tell your significant other how something makes you feel or what your opinion is about something. Do not stay quiet and allow your partner to make all of the decisions or call all the shots when it comes to your relationship. Avoid giving your partner directives or commands, as this is not part of standing your ground, but rather falls into the category of being controlling.
Defend your values, morals, ethics and religious or spiritual beliefs. Explain why something bothers you from a moral or ethical standpoint, quote a religious text or tell your partner that you have a certain set of values that cause you to feel differently about a situation and that requires you to stand your ground.
Establish your boundaries. Set reasonable parameters for your comfort and explain them to the other person. Your significant other will never know what your boundaries are unless you make them known.
Learn how to say no in the relationship. While it is important to compromise as a couple, you should not put yourself in situations that make you feel vulnerable, taken advantage of or cheated out of an opinion.
Use specific examples if you are standing your ground in regard to something that your partner does. If you don't like the fact that your significant other tells you what to do, insults you in front of friends or checks your phone when you aren't looking, provide specific instances and examples of this behaviour to support your defence as you stand your ground.
Do not make the other person feel badly. Standing your ground is not the same as belittling or demeaning the other person. You can still approach standing your ground from a place of love, and this does not have to be a hurtful process.
Tips and warnings
- You might want to practice what you want to say if confrontation is not something you are familiar or comfortable with.
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