You just got in a fight with your best guy friend or your boyfriend. You were both so mad that you stormed off in opposite directions. It's your fault and you should have apologise then and there, but it's too late to take back time. Your guy is mad at you and you have no clue where to get started to apologise to him. Follow these simple steps and get back on your guy's good side.
- Skill level:
Leave your guy alone and go for a walk. This will give both of you time to cool down, think about the argument and make sense of the situation. Going out for some fresh air and taking a few minutes apart will help reduce stress, and your guy should be a little less mad by the time you come back so that you can talk calmly.
Apologise as soon as possible. Holding off on your apology until the anger has subsided is more effective than arguing, but waiting too long to apologise is often as bad as no apology. If you have had time to discuss the conflict with your friends and family, they might be the ones to tell you when the time is right.
Figure out what actions you took that angered your guy in the first place. Ask yourself how you would feel if the positions were reversed and how you would have reacted. Putting yourself in your guy's shoes also means thinking about other factors that might have influenced his reaction. For example, he might have had a bad day at work.
Be sincere and never fake an apology to get out of an unpleasant situation or to make the conflict go away. Your guy will know when you do not truly believe that you did something wrong and he can sense an insincere apology. Saying sorry when you are not only risks making your guy more mad than he previously was, and trust will be affected.
Keep the apology simple. Always try to apologise face-to-face. When this is impossible, you can call your guy. Stick to one-sentence apologies when possible. For example, "I'm sorry for insulting you" or "I'm sorry I did not ask your permission before borrowing your car" are simple and direct apologies.
Acknowledge that you understand what he may be thinking and feeling. This will reinforce the fact that you took the time to think about the argument, to understand it was your fault and to realise why he is hurt and mad at you. This will help you regain your guy's forgiveness and trust.
Make a promise you can keep and that will make up for the mistake you made. Also, tell him what you will do to make sure the problem will not be repeated.
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