Getting over a girlfriend's past may seem daunting, uncomfortable, and generally unpleasant. You may find yourself struggling with insecurities you did not know you had, or wondering if she still has feelings for any of her ex-boyfriends. Regardless of who she was dating or what she did, however, it is your responsibility to free her from her past by letting go of it and refusing to let it upset you. If you are trying to get over your girlfriend's past but do not know how, there are some simple things you can do to let it go and let yourself love her.
Listen to what she has to say. This is the very first step to getting over your girlfriend's past. Upon hearing about what she used to do or guys she used to date, you may find yourself dealing with anger, confusion or sadness. Whatever the case, it is important that you listen to everything she has to say about why she did what she did and how she is different now. Your listening ear is the way you are showing her mercy and the love she needs.
Realise she cannot take back the past. Regardless of what she says or does, she cannot take back the past and neither can you. Being upset over something that already happened is a sad waste of time and emotional energy. Acknowledging that you can discuss the past but not change it, you should find yourself free to focus on the present and enjoy your relationship as it is, right now.
Explain your doubts. Explaining the way you feel about her past is a good way to get rid of some of the negative feelings you have about it. Being honest and asking her the questions you need answers to will help you feel a little more free and open with the girl you love. Instead of holding in anger or resentment, bring it out into the open and ask her questions, being careful not to come across as hostile or bitter. Finally, be patient while listening to her answers.
Trust the love she has for you. This is the ultimatum when it comes to getting over your girlfriend's past: believing that the love she has for you right now is strong and that you do not need to worry about things she used to be involved with. There is a reason your girlfriend has chosen to date you. She loves you, she wants you to be happy and she is not doing whatever she used to do.
Liberate her from her past. Once you have explained your side, asked questions and listened to her, it is time to make the deliberate decision to trust her and liberate her from her past. This will mean a lot to her because you are saying that she no longer needs to be sad for something she did, and that you have full trust in her at this moment.
Be patient when it comes to getting over your girlfriend's past. You are hurt about it because you love her, but there will come a point when you need to let it go.
Tips and warnings
- Be patient when it comes to getting over your girlfriend's past. You are hurt about it because you love her, but there will come a point when you need to let it go.