How to ask permission for marriage

Written by kathryn hatter
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How to ask permission for marriage
Before slipping the ring on her finger, ask permission from her parents. (Jupiterimages/Goodshoot/Getty Images)

The tradition of seeking permission from a woman's father or parents before proposing may seem old-fashioned, but some men still decide to follow this antiquated route before getting down on one knee to propose. Asking permission for marriage may help create a positive relationship between a son-in-law and his future parents-in-law because it can demonstrate the desire to proceed with their blessing. After a meaningful conversation about the marriage plans, get ready to pop the question.

Skill level:


  1. 1

    Call the father or parents and ask for the opportunity to meet with them privately. Ask if you can visit them at their home or arrange to meet for dinner or drinks (your treat).

  2. 2

    Arrive promptly at the arranged time, neatly dressed, and greet the parents in a friendly manner.

  3. 3

    Engage in small talk for a few minutes to set a relaxed and positive tone.

  4. 4

    Move into the reason for the meeting by telling the parents how much you love their daughter. Thank them for raising their beautiful daughter. Tell the parents that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, cherishing her and taking care of her. Touch on your professional or career prospects and goals, if necessary, to ensure that you will provide for your future wife.

  5. 5

    Ask the parents for their formal permission to marry their daughter. Assuming that the conversation proceeds positively, most parents will appreciate your formal request and will give their permission.

Tips and warnings

  • Although tradition dictates talking to your intended's father or parents before proposing, be as sure as possible that you will receive an affirmative answer from the woman before seeking permission from her parents.

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