When a couple marries, they generally intend to do so for life, at least at the beginning. This is why it can be so difficult, shocking and devastating to let a marriage go. However, sometimes dissolving a marriage is for the best. If your husband left you and you are dealing with all of the painful emotions that come along with it, it is important to remember that it is not the end of the world and that you can, indeed, move on with your life.
- Skill level:
- Moderately Challenging
Face the reality. As hard as it may be at first, acceptance is key in getting over your husband. Even if it came as a huge shock to you, it is crucial for you to understand that, at least in the present time, your marriage is done. Avoid coming up with tactics, strategies and schemes to get him back into your life. He has made a clear decision, and it is entirely out of your reach.
Understand that the situation is not a reflection on you. A lot of women tend to blame themselves when their husbands leave them. From weight to behaviour, women often look back on things they feel could have prevented the situation. However, many patient, slender, witty and charming women have had men leave them, oftentimes for reasons beyond their control. Realise that many different triggers could lead to a husband leaving, from a mid-life crisis and depression to self-esteem problems.
Get support from others. This can be especially effective if you have friends or acquaintances who have dealt with similar situations in their own lives. By asking around your friends, seek out a woman who has thrived after being left by her husband, and try to emulate her wisdom, strength and drive.
Vent. You are only human, so it is natural that you will need to get out all of your emotions. Whether you are feeling rage, betrayal, humiliation or simple sadness, it is essential not to allow your emotions to bottle up inside of you. Give yourself some time to experience a mourning period; after all, marriage was a big step in your life. Grieve fully, by crying and screaming if necessary. Try to put a cap on the time you allow yourself to grieve, however -- you do not want to let it take over your life.
Start a new chapter. Use your husband leaving you as an incentive to get a fresh start in life. Pursue activities that you never got a chance to before, whether it's ballroom dancing, writing or sewing. Start a new fitness regimen by going to the local gym several times a week. Not only will working out regularly tone your body and help you shed excess pounds, but it will also give you a natural and healthy mood burst. Avoid staying inside, making excuses and wallowing in misery. Get out there, meet new people, start some new hobbies and keep on living.
Take care of yourself. When a husband leaves, it can be so easy to fall into the habit of neglecting yourself, from sleeping and eating poorly to not caring about your appearance anymore. To move on in a healthy manner, be sure to consume a nutritious diet and care about how you dress and groom yourself just as much as you did before. Avoid dangerous pitfalls of unhappiness and grieving, such as drowning your feelings in alcohol, for example.
Keep your routine. You may find it hard to revert back to your normal routine after your husband leaves you. The thought of friends and coworkers asking about you may be unnerving, for instance. However, this way of thinking can only keep you in a standstill and prevent you from living your life. Get back into your normal routine and focus on the future, not the past.
Tips and warnings
- Be patient. It is not possible to get over your husband leaving you overnight. Do not expect that out of yourself. Time, patience and trust in yourself are the only ways to cope with this kind of major life change.
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