How to be a subservient wife

Updated March 23, 2017

Everyone's marriage is different. Some people like to treat their marriage as a team, while others like to split decisions up between both spouses. Others like to have one spouse run the marriage and make the decisions while the other merely follows. If you are in this final camp, you may want to have the husband make the decisions while the wife follows them; this is called being a subservient wife. If you are not naturally subservient, you will need to take a few day-to-day steps to make yourself more subservient and give yourself the kind of marriage you and your husband want.

Step back on decision-making. A subservient wife is not in charge of decisions in her family; she may make a few day-to-day decisions when her husband isn't around, but the bigger-picture decisions, such as where the family will live and under what values the children will be raised, are left to your husband.

Agree with your husband, whether you actually do or not. If you are going to be a subservient wife, you need to accept that you are letting your husband run everything, which means that he needs your full support.

Put effort into your appearance. This means the way you look, smell and dress need to be high quality. As a subservient wife, your role is to prop your husband up and please him rather than work with him, so you need to make an effort to do so.


Remember that subservience does not mean you need to compromise yourself morally. Rather, it just means deferring to him on decisions; it does not mean carrying out his bidding if it is morally wrong, such as stealing or hurting someone.

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About the Author

Sam Grover began writing in 2005, also having worked as a behavior therapist and teacher. His work has appeared in New Zealand publications "Critic" and "Logic," where he covered political and educational issues. Grover graduated from the University of Otago with a Bachelor of Arts in history.