When you get married you take vows to forever honour and be loyal to your spouse. Some marriages, however, do not last due to one or both of the spouses partaking in dishonourable actions, such as cheating. If you find out that your husband has cheated on you, it is important to consider whether or not you believe your marriage can be saved. If you are firm in your decision to not give your husband a second chance, you have the option of separating from him.
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Collect your evidence. If you have proof that your husband cheated, and the information is not just hearsay or based on suspicion, then the outcomes of your separation may be more favourable for you because you were the victim of marriage infidelity. Evidence of your husband's cheating, such as phone records, e-mails or pictures, may need to be provided to a divorce attorney during your legal separation and if you ultimately decide to get divorced.
Contact a divorce attorney. Set up a consultation so that you can explain the situation and he can tell you what your options are. Divorce attorneys also let you know what your rights are in the case of a legal separation, such as your financial rights, your right to kick your husband out of the house and maternity rights if children are involved. This is important because different states have their own laws about legal separations, and some states, such as Florida and Georgia, do not recognise legal separations, according to Women's Divorce.
Protect your assets and your finances. If you have paychecks that are automatically deposited into a joint account that your husband has access to, change your deposit instructions so that your husband is cut off from your money. You might also want to close joint credit card accounts if you can, so that your husband does not respond negatively to the news and put both of you into debt due to extreme spending.
Tell your husband that you are separating from him once you have discussed the details with an attorney and know what your rights are. This is the appropriate time to let your husband know that he either needs to move out, or that you are going to be the one moving out. If the lawyer has paperwork for your husband to sign to agree to the legal separation, have the lawyer serve your husband the paperwork.
Be prepared for an argument. Your husband may plead with you and try to beg for forgiveness. Stand firm in your decision. Tell your husband that you need time away from him, and that you believe that a separation is the best thing for both of you. If you have children, plan this conversation for a time when your children are in school or at a babysitter's house. You do not want to put your children in the middle of this type of argument.
Tips and warnings
- Keep yourself safe at all times. It is difficult to predict how your husband will react to the news of your separation. If you are concerned about your physical safety, have other people around you when you tell him that you want a separation, such as your attorney, friends or relatives.
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