How to handle manipulative men

Written by kyra sheahan
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How to handle manipulative men
Learn how to handle manipulative men. (Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Getty Images)

Manipulative men seek control, and they do so selfishly. Someone who is manipulative is out to serve himself, and pays little regard to others' feelings and beliefs. It is important for you to be able to identify and respond to manipulative tactics before your relationship goes spinning out of control. Many women who are continuously manipulated by man start to feel as though they are constantly being taken advantage of, mainly because they are. This can cause emotional torment for those who remain in manipulative situations.

Skill level:
Moderately Easy

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Instructions

  1. 1

    Educate yourself on the manipulative tactics that your man engages in. Different men may have different methods of manipulation. If he tries to control you through guilt, blame or threats, this is a form of manipulation. Some men will constantly try to make you feel sorry for them, while others will put you down until you feel sorry about something that you never did. Beware of the manipulator who tries to twist things around. Keep your head on straight so you can identify manipulation as it occurs.

  2. 2

    Learn how to say no to your manipulator. The man who is manipulating you wants something of you, but ultimately you have the control because you can choose to say no to him. Prepare yourself for the things that he typically asks of you. If his trend is to manipulate you to get money or to use you financially, plan for this and tell yourself that you will not give him any more money. If you prepare yourself before the manipulative situation arises, then you will not be caught off guard and give into his manipulation as easily.

  3. 3

    Ignore the manipulator's excuses. A manipulator wants others to feel sorry for him, and may use excuses like having had a poor childhood, or victimising himself to get you to give into his controlling demands. Realise that the excuses are part of his manipulation tactics, so reframe the way you think about them. Rather than feeling sorry for his poor childhood, focus on the behaviours he presents to you now. His poor childhood is not a reason for him to take advantage of you.

  4. 4

    Do not accept a manipulative man's money. In the eyes of a manipulator money is a source of control and power. If you accept his money, or anything else of his, he might use it against you later on to manipulate you into doing something for him. For instance, if you take money from a manipulator, he may then believe that you owe him something in return.

  5. 5

    Hold your ground. Your manipulator will not like the fact that you turn down his gift offerings or no longer fall victim to his sob stories, but it is important to keep your guard up and not give in, no matter how hard he tries. Even if holding your ground causes the two of you to argue, you will feel better about taking a stand instead of being taken advantage of.

  6. 6

    Cut the manipulator out of your life if you cannot handle being in a relationship with him. If he is unwilling to change, and you are unhappy about the relationship's dynamics, then distance yourself from him or break up altogether. If you want to continue to work on the relationship, make sure that you do not sacrifice your feelings, because relationships should not be one-sided.

Tips and warnings

  • If you ever fear that a manipulative man may hurt you physically, it is best to remove yourself from the situation and find someplace safe to go. Never put yourself in harmful situations.

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