How to write a love letter to an unrequited love

Written by gina scott
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How to write a love letter to an unrequited love
Determine your motivation behind writing a love letter to the object of your desire. (Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Getty Images)

Most people eventually experience the pain of unrequited love, which is any love that is not reciprocated by the object of your affection. Studies show that the pain of rejection can show up physically by activating the same part of the brain that expresses physical discomfort. If you've gone through heartache, this news is probably not a surprise. Perhaps your unrequited love doesn't even know how you feel about him. Sometimes, you want to get in touch with a love that is unrequited by writing a love letter.

Consider your real motivation for writing a love letter to your unrequited love. Before you write a word on paper or type a single character, determine the reasons you are getting in touch with this person you adore. If you're truly looking for some answers or just want to express your feelings, then initiating the contact might be the best decision.

Ask yourself why you are focused on a person who so far hasn't returned your affections. Determining why you are interested in this person helps you form the thoughts you put on paper. For example, since your feelings are not yet being reciprocated, do you really love this person or are you just afraid you will never meet anyone else? Being honest with yourself goes a long way in releasing your feelings to your unrequited love.

Compose a list of points you want to make in the letter. Before you begin your love letter, write down the key subjects you want to highlight. Notes to an unrequited love, even if they're romantic, shouldn't ramble. They should be to the point. If the love you feel is unreturned, there might be a reason. Maybe you're not her type and she hasn't even noticed you yet, or maybe she does notice you and finds the attention creepy. Without really knowing, it's better to be succinct in making your declarations of love.

Begin your letter with a simple introduction of why you're writing. If you don't know him well, acknowledge that he might find it awkward to receive such a love letter. Try finding some common ground early on. In the body of the letter, explain what you like about him and emphasise that you're not desperate, but rather you just find him appealing. Conclude by leaving the next move up to him. Receiving a love letter from an admirer can be overwhelming and you want to put him at ease.

Support your feelings by revealing what's in your heart. The best way to tell someone how you feel is to just be honest. At the end of the day, we are all human and have experienced the pain of unrequited love. Your recipient understands this as well, so tell her the real reason you are putting pen to paper in her honour.

Prepare yourself for whatever the outcome. Many times, love letters to an unrequited love are written with the hope of a positive outcome. While this is always possible, you should anticipate any reaction he might have. He could just ignore the letter or he could ask to meet you to discuss it. Regardless, after you have sent your letter, consider that it's time to move on to someone who reciprocates your feelings.


Reread your love letter several times before actually sending it. Just writing it might be enough therapy to help deal with an unrequited love.

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  • Reread your love letter several times before actually sending it. Just writing it might be enough therapy to help deal with an unrequited love.
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