Your boyfriend has left you and you are devastated. If you feel the relationship can still work in a healthy way and there is still love there, you can try to get him back. During this time, it is important to ignore and repress all feelings of wanting to call or text him, which will ultimately backfire. Examining what was wrong with the relationship can also be helpful when you do get back together so as to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
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Figure out if your ex is single before attempting to win him back. For example, try checking his Facebook relationship status. If it's not posted, look at this photos to see if the same girl appears in flirty poses with your ex.
Exude confidence. If you have mutual friends and hangouts, it is likely you will run into each other at a social gathering, party or bar. Look your best and enjoy yourself. Confidence, like independence, is always attractive and will help remind your ex why he fell in love with you. Refrain from getting too drunk when in situations with your ex and mutual friends, which may cause you to plead with your ex to get back together. This is not attractive behaviour.
Suggest a low-key meeting, such as going out for a cup of coffee. You may also suggest a favourite spot of yours, such as a bar where you used to meet for drinks. This will trigger memories of the past, most of which will hopefully be positive. Talk about favourite trips you took together, funny moments or other fun times you had, which can stir up old feelings.
Remember to go slow and try to think of getting back together as an entirely new relationship, according to relationship therapist Bethany Marshall, author of "Deal Breakers." While it is important to talk about problems you may have had in the past, address them and move on rather than letting them poison your second go-around.
Tips and warnings
- Give your ex space. Whiny text messages, e-mails, phone calls and notes will only make you seem clingy and desperate and will not encourage your ex to get back with you.
- Remember to ask yourself if you really do want your ex back or if you are simply bored or tired of being single.
- Threatening violence against yourself will not only prevent your ex from getting back together with you but may cause you to wind up in an emergency room.
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