How to Get Your Boyfriend to Hold Your Hand

Intimacy goes beyond sexual desires and acts. It can start with a short kiss or just holding hands. Many couples have problems getting their mates to be more intimate and affectionate. For many people, showing public affection is not what they are used to. Many times shyness plays a major role with showing one's love. When trying to get your boyfriend to hold your hand, it is important that you are careful about how you approach him.

Be confident. The best time to get your boyfriend to hold your hand is to do it while sitting next to each other. The best place to start is in a cinema. The darkness eases the pressure of being embarrassed and it helps with shyness. It also eases the nerves of getting the wrong reaction from the other person.

Be gentle and wait for him. Be slow when you are reaching for his hand. You want to ring your arm around his while you are sitting next to each other. If he does not reject this, give it a couple more minutes. Share a laugh or quick comment and reach over to his hand. Slide your hand under his and squeeze gently. If he does not react, do nothing and hold it there. Do not hold hands for long because you do not want your hands to become sweaty. At some point take his hand and gently kiss the top of it then let it go. Be subtle and not forceful. The goal is to help him become more comfortable holding your hand.

Take your time.Try not to reach for his hand in a large crowd, especially for the first time. You do not want to turn him off or catch him by surprise. If you are walking, get close but don't bump into each other. First contact must be to ring your arm around his and wait for a reaction. If it is positive slide you hand down to his and squeeze. Your indication that it is OK will come from if he squeezes back. If he reacts positively, hold his hand until you start to get a little clammy, then loosen up your fingers and slowly let go.

Be smooth. When you are at dinner, if his hand is on the table and he is not using it, find a moment to say something meaningful. Make eye contact then slowly put your hand on the table. Make sure you compliment him or express how you feel about him, then reach for the top of his hand and gently squeeze his fingers. Keep your eye contact locked and do not look at your hand at any point. When you break eye contact let go of his hand and keep smiling.

Keep your hands soft. Wear something that smells sweet and keeps your hands moisturised. Along with keeping your hands clean, keep your nails clean, too. He will notice. Do not try to hold hands if you have a cold or he does. He could be trying to avoid giving you germs and you should do the same. Do not try to hold hands when you are carrying something or with a wrist purse on. It is uncomfortable and you do not want to force an intimate moment. Let it happen naturally.


Never try to hold his hand in public for the first time. You do not want to embarrass yourself because he is not ready. If he does not want to hold your hand, do not press the issue right away, take your time to talk to him about it later. Do not get mad if he says he doesn't like to hold hands, that is his preference and accept it.


There is a chance you can be embarrassed depending on the type of guy you are dating. He could loudly ask you what you are doing or yank his hand away. Try not to take it personally and find out what makes him react this way.

Cite this Article A tool to create a citation to reference this article Cite this Article

About the Author

Mackleen Gresham started writing professionally in 2005 at her college magazine, "The Emerson Review." She has been published with The Patch and All Voices online newspapers, and she is a columnist for “Snytch” magazine. Gresham has a Bachelor of Fine Arts in writing, literature and publishing from Emerson College and a Master of Business Administration in marketing from Argosy University.