A separation can be the beginning of the end or the chance to start over and get it right the second time. If you plan on dating your wife you are trying to do some of the things it took to get her in the first place. Take your time and think of your wife as this new woman you are trying to empress. Listen to what she wants and don't force anything on her she is not ready for. Communicate clearly what your intentions are and make sure she is in agreement.
- Skill level:
Set the parameters of your date. If you just want to take her to dinner make sure she understands it's only dinner. Be honest with what you are trying to accomplish by dating her and make sure she's comfortable with the arrangement. Agree not to bring up any hurtful issues while dating. Use dating as a forum to show your wife you value her. Choose a quiet setting so you can talk.
Seek counselling to see if this is a healthy path to take at this time in your separation. Every couple and situation is different. Counselling will help you determine if this is a good step for you to make as a couple while separated. Separation can bring new intimacy to a relationship. Dating can be a healthy step toward reconciliation.
Determine if you really want to be with your wife or are you dating her because she makes you feel comfortable. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be difficult, so many stick with what they know even if the relationship is strained. Avoid sending mixed messages to your wife when you have no intentions of making the relationship work. Be honest with what you are feeling and let her decide if she wants to date you after she understands your reasons.
Show your wife you are open to change. Face the fact that you are in the current situation for a reason and changes will need to be made for both of you. Romance your wife and show her that you want her and you are willing to make her feel special all over again. Try and make the date special; she will appreciate the attempt.
Commit yourself to making the marriage work. No matter the reason of your separation, if you both are willing to work toward new trust and intimacy, dating is an honourable first step for you both. When dating your wife during separation, make sure you honour her decision if she turns you down.
Tips and warnings
- Be patient, your wife may not be open to the idea of dating right now. Give her time and let her decide when the time is right.
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