Keeping your romantic life active and healthy can be difficult, especially when you're married. Amid the chaos of children, work, family and friends, we often lose sight of our spouses. It takes patience, time and love to keep your marriage strong and your physical intimacy intact. Whether you have been together 50 days or 50 years, it's never a bad idea to spend time romancing your husband.
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Know your husband. Think about what your husband likes to do. Flowers and chocolate may be your idea of a relaxing and romantic evening, but not his. If you know upscale restaurants make him uncomfortable, don't take him to one. The point of a romantic night is to give you both time to unwind and enjoy each other. A romantic evening can start like any other date---at the movies, a restaurant, a sports event or a bar. Do what makes you both happy.
Know his schedule. It is very important that you know what he has on his plate. If his work week is busy, he may not have the time or energy to be romantic with you. If your husband is a sports fan, don't count on having his full attention during the week of the big game, a draft or another sport-related event. There are going to be times when you both need personal time and space for your own interests; find a common time for your romantic night. To avoid scheduling conflicts, let him know in advance that you have something planned. Make sure you can arrive home before him on the night you choose; it gives you time to prepare.
Remember to plan your evening. Find the kids a babysitter, put the dog outside and unplug the phones. Your romantic night should be free of worry and distractions for both you and your husband. Prepare food in advance, unless you enjoy cooking together.
Prepare your bedroom. If you plan to seduce your sweetheart, make sure the bedroom is clean and ready. Pick up dirty clothes and put away loose items. Air out the room and change the bed linens. Changing the curtains, using a different air freshener and dimming the lights are all good ways to give your room a fresh feel on your special night. You can also opt for more traditional gestures---light candles, scatter flower petals and use silk sheets.
Start slow. Plan to engage your lover in light conversation and an easy-going activity. This could be playing video games, watching a movie or sharing drinks outside. Give him time to unwind from the day's activities and refocus on you and your romantic night.
Plan for a meal. If you're cooking the meal yourself, have all of your ingredients available well ahead of time. Know what recipe you will use and how much time it takes to prepare. Don't prepare a carb-heavy meal, because carbs can make you feel weighted and tired.
Be proactive. After welcoming your husband home and enjoying your meal, make your intentions clear. You may plan a back massage or foot rub to get him in the mood. If you are uncomfortable being the aggressor, opt for subtle hints (trust that he knows you as well as you know him). Go for an evening stroll, pop in a favourite movie and turn the lights low or suggest feeding each other dessert. To cut to the chase, lead him to a shared shower, skinny dip or erotic massage. Know before your evening which approach you are more comfortable with. If you are trying to be bold for the first time, have a backup activity in case things don't go as planned.
Follow through. You can't really plan what you'll do after a certain point in the evening. Have faith that your preparations will go smoothly and relax into the romantic atmosphere that you created.
Tips and warnings
- You married your husband for a reason. Use your romantic night to reaffirm your love and commitment to each other. Remember, the most romantic gestures are unplanned.
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