Being the child of a narcissistic mother can be overwhelming. A Narcissistic mother can be overbearing, emotional, and impossible to please, but that doesn't mean she's impossible to deal with. Whether you are an adult struggling to come to terms with your relationship, or you are a young teenager there are ways to learn to deal with the emotional turmoil you experience.
First, accept that every single person has their narcissistic moments. This doesn't make you a narcissistic person however, and if you are under the impression your mothers behaviour will somehow transmit to your daily life, don't be.
Cut your mother out of your life. This may seem impossible, but it's not. Having no relationship is a lot better than having one that's toxic, and your mother may not be willing to change. If you continue to fall prey to her "it's all about me" guilt trips, you are going to have trouble living a healthy, happy life yourself.
Find a therapist. Talking with someone about your childhood can be incredibly healing; children of narcissistic mothers often have low self esteem, experience depression, and have trouble figuring out their personal thoughts and feelings on certain subjects.
The cause of narcissistic personality disorder is unknown, but if you are curious as to what's behind your mothers behaviour you may take a look at her own childhood. Was it especially dysfunctional? The symptoms behind the illness are normally the root of a bigger problem and while many narcissist's can come off as feeling better than everyone else, they may actually suffer from low self esteem.
If you feel that cutting your mother out of your life is not going to work, encourage her to seek outside help. Finding a therapist or doctor who's skilled in narcissistic personality disorder is key, so do your research diligently. Seeing a therapist together can also help ease some of the pain that childhood brought.
If your mother agrees to therapy, it may just be another excuse for her to talk about herself for an hour. Make sure that the therapy is about YOUR relationship and not your mothers psyche.
Tips and warnings
- If your mother agrees to therapy, it may just be another excuse for her to talk about herself for an hour. Make sure that the therapy is about YOUR relationship and not your mothers psyche.