Men and women sometimes have very different ways of communicating. Women tend to be more verbal and better at expressing feelings and emotions. Many guys prefer to show how they feel through actions rather than the verbal declarations that women understand. This tendency can leave women wondering if the guy that they think about all the time is really worth their time. If you feel confused about your relationship status, ask yourself a few basic questions.
- Skill level:
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Ask yourself if you feel included in his life. Has he introduced you to all the important people? If you have been together for awhile and you have yet to meet his family or most of his friends, this should send up a red flag. A guy who really cares will want to include you in his social worlds. He cares about their opinion of you and your opinion of them. Why? Because he plans on having you around for awhile.
Think about how often you see or communicate with each other. A guy who really cares will want to be with you all the time. Of course, everyone needs alone time and time with friends, but if your guy routinely disappears or breaks plans, dump him. If he cares, he will let you know that you are a priority in his life by staying in touch with you. A guy worth keeping will call when he says he will and return your calls or e-mails promptly. He doesn't cancel a date unless the situation is dire and he doesn't disappear for no apparent reason.
Consider the flow of conversation between you. Do you have to constantly remind him that Beckie is your sister and Sarah is your boss? Does he seem to zone out and say "uh-huh" a lot? Many guys can get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of communication that women need. Don't assume that he doesn't care if he would rather watch the game than hear a verbatim recap of the conversation you just had with your mom. However, a guy who really cares will pay attention to the important things. He knows your birthday, your favourite food, the name of the co-worker who drives you nuts, and how you got that scar on your ankle.
Ask yourself if you see a future with this guy. Do you feel like you have a date every Saturday night? A guy who cares will try to "close the deal" with you by letting you know that he wants you two to be exclusive. He talks about the future like you will be in it with him. A guy who talks about marriage and how many kids he wants is letting you know that he is considering the possibility of a long-term relationship with you and trying to get your reaction to that. Even if you aren't quite to that point yet, you can tell that a guy cares if he makes future plans with you. He asks you to be his date at his cousin's wedding that takes place three months from now. He makes plans for a summer getaway with you and it's only January. A guy who has trouble committing to plans beyond this coming weekend isn't sure that you are the one he wants to be with exclusively.
Think about why you are reading this article. If you feel unsure about your guy's feelings for you, you are probably onto something. Sure, some guys aren't great at communicating their feelings, but a guy who cares will make sure that you know it. He may not come right out with the "L" word, but he will let you know in his own way that you are the woman in his life. He will want to make sure that you don't move on to someone else. If your guy is making no attempt to let you know that he cares about you and sees a future with you, then dump him. Life is too short to waste time wondering if your boyfriend cares about you. Move on to a man who will treat you with consideration, a man who will leave you with little doubt that you are an important part of his world.
Tips and warnings
- Go with your gut. If your gut says he's not that into you, cut him loose.