Being in love with somebody who doesn't love you can be a heartbreaking experience. Follow these steps to move past the pain and get on with your life.
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Accept the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about you. If you continue to believe that there is a chance he will eventually love you, you will never move on.
Understand the reasons why she doesn't feel the same way. Understanding the reasons for the unrequited love will help you to move past the situation and get over her.
Stay positive. Don't let this situation cause you to have bitter feelings toward finding someone who loves you. It will lead you toward becoming a bitter and unhappy person.
Get your mind off of him. Spend more time with friends and family, and surround yourself with those who love and care about you.
Keep busy. Throw yourself into your work or hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies there are plenty to choose from so it won't be difficult finding one.
Focus on your future. Nobody has ever moved forward by constantly looking back. Focusing on your future will make you take your focus off her.
Remind yourself of your good qualities. Just because one person does not love you does not mean you are not a good person. Remind yourself of that as often as necessary.
Go out on dates. It may be difficult at first because your heart may still belong to him but the worst that could happen is that you meet someone you like to hang out with. You never know, you may meet someone you really like that feels the same way about you.
Appreciate yourself. Realize that you don't need anyone to validate you and that you are still the wonderful person you were before the breakup. Remind yourself that most relationships don't work out and that your breakup isn't unusual. Work on gaining independence so that you can be just as happy alone as when you're in a relationship. That will make you more attractive.
If you've been left before, think of how you overcame that pain. You did it once, you can do it again.
Don't feed the monster. After a week or two of grief, stop yourself from indulging conversations about your lost love or from obtaining information about them. In time, your grief will fade on its own, provided you let it.
Ask yourself, "Why would I want to be with anyone who doesn't love me back?" You deserve better. You may discover you are repeating a pathology from your childhood, clinging to someone who doesn't appreciate you in an effort to win the approval you could not get from your parents. Seek professional help to dig deeper if you suspect this is true.
Tips and warnings
- Avoid seeing her. Some situations are unavoidable, such as if you work together or have a class together, but void going to the same hangouts or other social places you know she frequents.
- Laugh a lot. Watch a funny movie, go see a comedy show or hang out with your funniest friends. Laughter helps prevent you from becoming depressed and dwelling on the requited love.
- Treat yourself. Buy that fabulous pair of shoes that you've had your eye on or get that massage you know you deserve.
- Don't be angry. Your feelings of anger will seep into every aspect of your life. You will alienate friends if you become angry and take that anger out on them.
- Don't shut yourself off. Believe it or not, she is not the only girl for you. Move on so you don't miss out on finding someone really special.
- If you can't get past this, seek professional help. Find out if what you felt for this person was genuine love or part of an addiction.
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